Why Mindset Is Everything for a Calm, Confident Birth
Why Mindset Matters in Birth
I have experienced two different births myself now and witnessed several other women go through labor and bring their babies into this world. If there’s one thing I can tell you makes a difference, it’s how your mindset surrounding birth plays a crucial role.
If you allow fear to control you, this will affect your experience. But if you go into it prepared—with confidence in yourself and in our God to carry you through—you can have a calmer, more enjoyable birth.
This is ultimately my hope for all of you moms out there: to not be afraid of the unknowns in birth, but to be excited to meet your baby and able to look back on your experience with joy.
If there’s anything you can do to prepare for this monumental moment, it’s shifting your mindset and practicing mindfulness beforehand. I’ve gathered what I believe are the five steps to help you clear your fears of birth and build confidence.
If you want to go deeper, look for one of my Fear Clearing Workshops—where I guide you through identifying your fears and restructuring your mindset through journaling and affirmations.
Step 1: Believe in Yourself and Your Body
Your body was designed to give birth—it's a natural process that all mammals go through. Our Creator designed us perfectly to bring our babies into the world! Knowing and believing this can give you such strength and confidence.
There are absolutely exceptions to the norm, but unless you have a reason to believe you are that exception, continue to believe in yourself and your body.
Start mindfully noticing how often you think, “I can’t,” and replace that thought with “I’m capable of all things through Christ.”
(Philippians 4:13 — “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”)
He made all women with the ability to birth our babies.
Practice: Write some affirmation mantras to remind yourself of this truth. Maybe create cards to decorate and place in your birth space.
Example: “My body knows how to birth my baby.”
Anchor yourself: When you feel doubt creeping in, try visualizing holding your baby. Remind yourself that God walks alongside you through every difficult moment.
Step 2: Educate Yourself
Fear of the unknown is so real—but you can conquer these fears by gaining knowledge about what you’re going to experience. Especially if you’re a first-time mom, learning about physiological birth—the way birth works in the body—can set you up for success.
This knowledge turns fear of the unknown into confidence.
Things to learn about:
The stages of labor
Pain relief options
Labor and pushing positions
Coping tools
What your cervix does during labor
Common hospital terms and medical tools
You hold the power in your birth.
Fear-clearing tool: Write down three fears you have about birth. Then, find one fact or coping tool for each of those fears.
Resource: I love supporting women by helping them understand what to expect. If you’re interested in my doula support—whether that’s in-person or virtual calls tailored to your needs.
If you’re not local to me, reach out! I’m happy to help you find a doula in your area.
Step 3: Get the Right Mindset (Daily Practice)
Your mindset is like a muscle—exercising it regularly prepares you to use it effectively during birth.
Every time you reframe your thoughts or use visualization or meditation, you’re strengthening this muscle.
Try this reframing exercise:
When a negative thought crosses your mind, pause and replace it with something empowering—a fact, affirmation, or verse.
Example: If you think, “What if I can’t handle contractions?” replace it with “Every wave brings me closer to my baby.”
Practicing these exercises now helps them become second nature when you’re in the heat of the moment.
Create a calming anchor:
Find something that grounds you—a breathing pattern, a song, or an affirmation you can use in labor.
I love telling my clients: “Before the peak of every contraction, and when it’s over, take a deep cleansing breath for you—and then another for your baby.”
Step 4: Prepare for Any Outcome
Fear loves to hide in the “what ifs.” But when you understand what could happen, you can prepare—and that gives you peace and confidence.
It’s not always fun to think about those possibilities (they’re scary!), but walking through them with your partner, doula, or care team helps you feel empowered.
Ask your providers how they handle certain situations and what that looks like in the moment. Make a plan with your partner—who does what, how you’ll communicate, and how you’ll support each other.
Having a backup plan gives you peace of mind and confidence.
One thing I do with my doula clients during prenatals is create a birth plan that includes preferences and coping tools if things shift.
For example, if induction becomes necessary, you might plan to use movement, breathing exercises, and team support to stay grounded and calm.
Step 5: Relinquish Control (Surrender & Trust)
Birth is powerful and flowing—and sometimes unpredictable. You can plan all you want for the perfect birth, but it may not go exactly as imagined.
You can’t script every detail, and there will be things outside your control.
Instead, focus on what you can control:
Who will be present at your birth (partner, mom, doula, etc.)
The provider and nurses supporting you—if someone doesn’t respect you, you can ask for a different nurse or provider.
How you prepare, what labor tools you use, and which medications you agree (or don’t agree) to.
Surrender what’s outside your control. Ask the Lord to help you release it—to fully trust Him and hand it over to His care. Trust that He will place you in the right hands and surround you with the right support.
Trust your partner too—he’s trusting you to bring your baby into the world, so trust him to hold and support you through it.
Visualization: Imagine handing your fears over to the Lord, your body, and the birth process itself.
Conclusion & Encouragement
Confidence doesn’t mean you’ll have no fear. Some fear is natural—but there are steps you can take to calm those fears and prepare yourself for birth.
These practices can help you have a calmer body, smoother labor, and a deeper trust in yourself and in God.
I want to invite you to join one of my upcoming Fear Clearing Workshops—and if a group setting isn’t for you, I’d be honored to work with you 1:1, either virtually or as your personal doula.
I’m wishing you the most beautiful, calm, and confident birth. 💛
